The Name That Can’t Be Spoken

In an article that approaches peak 2020, some avis-inbecilli ornithologists say we have to change the common names that birds have had for centuries because, you guessed it, the names are RACIST!!! And not only that but the poor bird names “represent colonialism, racism and inequality”. Scary stuff!

racist bird names.png

Source Article

However, it turns out that this avian ethnic cleansing is gonna be tough to accomplish. When I looked, I was astounded at the number of clearly racist bird names out there. Here are some of the worst offenders.

Under the new politically correct rules for 2020, for example, we can’t use “red” in a bird’s name, because we don’t want to insult the Early Asian Immigrants, aka “Red Indians”. I mean, looking at what happened to the “Washington Redskins”, red is obviously out of the question for bird names.

Next, of course, we can’t use “white” in bird names, as that might upset the melanin-deficient. And clearly, we mustn’t ever use “black” in a bird’s name, the BLM rioters would likely get riotous, and that’s literally lethal. Can’t have any names containing “yellow”, Asians would be mortified. “Brown” is out as well, I can hear the Aztlan Nation screaming from here.

And of course, “orange” is out because even in bird names ORANGE MAN BAD.

Doesn’t leave a whole lot of colors. We still have “rufous” in a lot of bird names, but nobody is quite sure what color that actually is. Once the sun sets on this farrago, we’ll be left with the Blue-Footed Booby, but the Red-Footed Booby will be consigned to the ash-can of Red Indian history …

blue footed booby

And what about sexist bird names like the “Great Tit”? The 2020 funny-pink-hat crowd would be deservedly affronted by that name. I mean, you’d have to agree that it is seriously offensive to Not-So-Great Tits.

And undoubtedly, the Yellow-Breasted Antbird would spontaneously combust the hair of Asian feminists …

On another path, we dare not wander too far into questions of size-shaming. The wondrously named “Large-footed tapaculo” would have to go, obviously, it’s totally insulting to those who wear over Size 12 footgear. (For those asking, I call it the “bureaucrat bird”, because “tapaculo” in American Spanish literally means “one that covers its backside”, from Spanish tapar to cover + culo backside, from Latin culus. So it’s the CYA bird … but I digress)

Moving on from the culi, we have the “Dwarf tinamou”, highly problematic. It’s far too abusive to the altitude-challenged. Having a bird named “dwarf” endlessly insults them based on an unchangeable characteristic, so that every time they read the name of the bird, they are triggered once again. Gotta go.

And the well-upholstered and the abdominous come in for their share of size-shaming. The poor Giant Megapode of my old home, the Solomon Islands, has to lose its name. Plus, I know a few Pacific island countries full of people whose general construction blueprint is not unlike that of the “Stout Tongan Megapode” … talk about fat-shaming, “Stout” indeed! (Protip—as a long-time South Pacific resident, I don’t recommend angrifying the Tongans, Samoans, and other Pacific Islanders. They are wondrously charming folk, faithful friends and marvelous family … but they are not averse to thumping heads if excrement occurs … )

Now, as you may have noticed, those are not the name changes that the ornithologists actually called for. What you may not have noticed is that the stuff they called for was not only far stranger than anything I imagined. It was stranger than anything I could imagine.

For example, they called for renaming a bird because the man who first described it and named it, the man whose family is undoubtedly proud to have it named for him, happens to share a name with some damn obscure Confederate general nobody ever heard of.

Seriously. That’s their issue. Who could have imagined such lunacy? There’s a list of bird names here … perhaps you can look through them and point out this racist sky pilot who is so disgracing his politically correct great avian nation …

We live in a curious time. There are some folks out there that are so desperate to be offended (on someone else’s behalf, of course) that they are triggered by the name of a man who had NOTHING TO DO WITH RACISM, THE CIVIL WAR, OR BLACK PEOPLE!

And to make it even more bizarre, the author/ornithologist (who certainly appears to be white, see below) claims that white people are not qualified to judge what is racist and what isn’t … dang, bro’, hate yourself much?

ornithologist b brain.png

The irony meter pegged out on that one. Some white soiboi is saying that the entire white race, based solely on the color of our skin, is not allowed to have a voice in the discussion.

Y’know, I think we used to have a word for denying people a voice in important discussions based solely on their skin color … it’ll come to me …

(In passing, I’ve often wondered what people meant by the recently popular phrase “white fragility”, as it certainly doesn’t describe me or my friends … but I think I might have found a clear example in the photo above.)

And in closing, all of this talk of bird names reminds me of the peculiar oddity of the naming of the Canary Islands.

The peculiar oddity is, there’s not one canary in the whole place. Go figure.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the exact same thing is true with the Virgin Islands.

… no canaries there either …

Stay well, dear friends. Hug your family, laugh at the inanities of this most wondrous life, and always, remember to remember …


PS—I do find a scant bit of hope in the name of a bird I’d never heard of, the “Black-and-white warbler” … ebony and ivory, together in perfect harmony. And we can do it. Thomas Sowell, one of the more brilliant men of our time, said “Racism is not dead, but it is on life support — kept alive by politicians, race hustlers and people who get a sense of superiority by denouncing others as “racists.”

This ornithologist is one of those keeping racism alive.

38 thoughts on “The Name That Can’t Be Spoken

  1. In Spanish a way to commonly refer to penguins is “Pájaro Bobo”, which literally means “silly bird”. I understand that this name must also be prohibited, as the author of the study could feel very personally offended.


  2. Words are being redefined. “Marriage” is not what it used to be, “free speech” is not what it used to be, “gender” and “racist” are also excellent examples. I grew up in a system where “freedom” was defined as a “recognized necessity”. I hope not to die in such a system.


  3. OK, I’ll bite, didn’t there used to be canaries on the Canary Islands?

    As for all this “white guilt” horseshyte, it is so 1995. Over it.


      • Ah, that explains a lot. Begs the question, who brought dogs to the Dog Islands? Since everything is going to shut back down here in PA I’ll do some reading on this one.


  4. Dear Willis, brilliant, just brilliant…and funny as hell or heaven (I never understood the “…as hell” locution).

    You REALLY ought to collect all your “signs of the times” and political essays into a book. Although you seem ignore, and/ or refuse to engage in, and/ or disdain the commercial viability of your writing, you should bring it to what might be a wider audience…and make a buck or two in the bargain. Your thinking deserves to be the subject of discussion among a wide swath of folks.

    In any case, I so much enjoy your writing. Always brightens my day!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Let’s not forget the Great White Shark. Obviously demeaning to those sharks that are of a different hue such as the black and brown sharks that are not considered great.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Astronomy is probably next on the list … red giants, brown dwarf, white dwarf, redshift erc.



    On Thu, 6 Aug. 2020, 17:21 Skating Under The Ice, wrote:

    > Willis Eschenbach posted: “In an article that approaches peak 2020, some > avis-inbecilli ornithologists say we have to change the common names that > birds have had for centuries because, you guessed it, the names are > RACIST!!! And not only that but the poor bird names “represent colo” >


  7. Car manufacturers are being encouraged to remove the master and slave cylinders from their vehicles. Can’t have that….


    • Can that be achieved and still comply with BLM.

      I have driven a car with a missing one of those cylinders and my instinct is that virtually all lives don’t matter.


  8. “The peculiar oddity is, there’s not one canary in the whole place. Go figure.
    Perhaps not surprisingly, the exact same thing is true with the Virgin Islands.

    … no canaries there either …”

    LMAO. Thank you for starting my day with a big smile on my face.


  9. Don’t see how anyone could have an issue with a Friendly Bush Warbler.
    That might not be the case with a Southern Black Tit.


  10. Willis, I’ve long felt that your humor exceeds the quality of Dave Barry’s humor, or more accurately, that of P. J. O’Roark. As suggested above, a collection of your writing would sell well. At the very least you should post on Patreon.


  11. Willis, the white guy in the lumberjack shirt is not actually the author/ornithologist. That is Matt Walsh of The Daily Wire. Not sure why they threw in his non-related video in the middle of that article.
    Of course, when you look up Jordan E. Rutter and Gabriel “BirdNird” Foley, you will find that both men (yes, 2 males, how undiverse!) are just as pale as good old Matt Walsh.


      • Willis,

        I’m in agreement with the nominally offended and I’m deeply wounded by the gannet a lesser booby. Being a Gannett myself this conjunction is deeply hurtful.


  12. A friend of mine trying to fully identify the type of bird using the nestbox in his garden was very amused when he got the unfiltered results of his search, he told me that there were defenitely some great tits but not many of the type he was looking for.
    Just seen a truck with the words “Good for chicks” written on the side the PC brigade would go into meltdown.

    James Bull


    • We go to Rural King for the hot chicks. If you been to Rural King you know what I am talking about. Also got some fine looking farm girls working there, too!


  13. Willis,
    Would it be possible that we could talk for about 15 minutes. I would like to provide you context on my last two years working with Valentina to help her better tell her story to the world by funding a research company start-up. After I terminated my relationship with her about six months ago primarily because of her total unfamiliarity with venture capitalism (when I convinced her it was a good thing, she wanted to own it all).
    Since then, believe it or not, I have been composing a letter to you asking for enough attention to get you interested in the effort to make your own analysis. Here is the first paragraph of my letter:


    You are one of my heroes, along with Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and a few others. You’ve been included on my list in the last three years, when I began reading WUWT on a daily basis. Like others, I have never experienced anyone so skilled at “running the numbers” no matter what the topic or issue. For the last six months I’ve been composing in my mind an email to you requesting your help, guidance, and involvement on the topic of sun spots, but I’ve never had the courage to send it. Today your posting verse 25 inspired me and made me realize that it was time to write my first WUWT submission which I’m calling Verse 1. If this is finished after postings are closed, I can only hope that Anthony will forward it to you as an email. I want to pick up on the challenge you made to end your earlier post Maunder and Dalton Sunspot Minima in which you asked “what do you think is the one very best piece of evidence that the solar minima actually do affect the temperature, the evidence that you’d stand behind and defend?”

    My answer is that it’s magnetism and solar magnetic field activity and a data base describing such, that doesn’t exist or is know to so few that it might as well not exist… My explanation follows:

    Now that you and Rud, whom I equally admire, are both involved in the topic Cyclomania, my contribution to you both might be to provide a stimulating data dump on the knowledge I have that you might find useful. I’m testing that thesis starting with you.

    I’d prefer not to say more on a public post, instead of on a one to one exchange. Best of all I would like to introduce myself by phone or Zoom.

    I await to hear from you.


    Bob David


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